Just one more day... / Uncle Steve
Today is just one more day that I sit and reflect on the past with tears in my eyes and memories of Jake still fresh in my mind. Although it's been 2 years since he left us, it feels like only yesterday that Jake was here with me. I can still see his smiling face and all those scrapes on his legs from riding his bike. It's not getting any easier dealing with this meaningless tragedy. I can't even count how many times I've sat here and written down my thoughts, only to erase them for fear of being misunderstood. There are many stages of grieving, but I seem to be stuck in the anger stage. As I sit and think of Jake, I can't ever get past the feeling of anger and hate I feel inside. My heart aches, and I struggle with every breath as I try to understand why this was allowed to happen. I'll never get over the feeling that Jake had no control over any of it.
There is something I've been wanting to do, but have yet to come up with the courage to do so. There is a special person that has come to us through all of this, and one day I hope to meet her. I want to touch the hands that last held Jake, and thank his Angel for being there for him. I hope to someday come up with the strength to do this.
To Jake: I love you buddy, and you're in my thoughts every day. One day when we meet again I hope to get all the answers to the questions I have.
Rebecca , Me(Becky), and Jacob and their cousin Jessica grew up together on the block of 15th and Clevland in Milwaukee. We were all good friends for so many years. I moved away and lost contact of them. I missed so much of the best of Jacob and Rebecca. I missed them so much while we were apart. Then come to find out that he had passed away...I was devestated. I couldnt even imagine the pain Karen, Perry and Rebecca had to face. What Im trying to say is, With all the memories of all those smiles(my mom Nancy said that they lit up the room)I will carry those with me forever as close to my heart as I have been through all of these years. I want to give my condolences to Karen(the best mom in the world), Perry(the best Harley Davidson rider)and Rebecca(my best childhood friend). You guys will always be apart of me and held close to my heart. Jacob and the Gosselin family are in my prayers tonight and every night. Untill we meet again Jacob....Rest In Peace.....
I Miss You / ~.~
When days are sad and lonely, And everything goes wrong I seem to hear you whisper "Cheer up and carry on" Every time I see your picture, You smile and seem to say, "Don't cry I'm only sleeping We'll meet again someday." You gave me no last farewell Nor ever said good-bye. You were gone before I knew it, And only God knows why. A million times I will miss you, A million times I will cry. If love alone could have saved you, You would have never died. In life I loved you dearly. In death I still do. In my heart you hold a place No one else can fill. It broke my heart to lose you, But you didn't go alone. For a part of me went with you The day God took you home. Close
I cant believe its been so long.... / Jessica Picard (Very Close Cousin )Read >>
I cant believe its been so long.... / Jessica Picard (Very Close Cousin )
I cant believe that 2 years ago today you were taken from us. I remember that day like it was yesterday and sometimes i wish that those and only those memories could be erased from my mind. i also remember that i was supposed to call you that day on my lunch break, and i forgot. i am so sorry that i didnt call. i think of that all the time. that would have been the last time that i coulda heard your voice, the last time that you woulda said "i love you" and the last time we would have said our goodbyes. its so hard to look back and think of all the "what if's". what if i would have called you. what if we all knew this was going to happen. and what if we could have prevented it. i am so greatfull that you were in my life, even if it were for that short period of time. i am so glad that we were as close as we were. we grew up together. we were like two peas in a pod. we were the trouble makers of the group. lookin back at all the great times that we had makes me think of all the great times we could have had. but i guess i just have to keep concentrating on what did happen not what could have. today is just a reminder of how much you touched each and every one of us. you were an amazing person and im sure that you are watching over each and every one of us every step of the way. i love you jake. please keep us all safe.
I replaced the heart on 35th today, seems someone took the heart I made for you and put there shortly after the crash. I made this one red your favorite color from what I'm told, picked up a piece of glass that still remains at the site, held it in my hand and said a little prayer. The prayer of course contained the usual, mostly questions as to why, what was the reason, what are we to be taught, what is the message, help us understand, help us all to heal and ending by asking for strength, forgiveness and to say thanks for blessing us with your presence, even though it was for such a short time.
I will admit I struggled with my own emotional issues this weekend unrelated to the 10th, but I was given perspective in what happened to you, Karen, Perry, Rebecca your cuz's, grandparents, other relatives and friends was far more severe and traumatic than anything I had to process through and being a parent myself everything in my life pales in comparison to what they must wake up to, face and live with everyday. For that I pray for strength to them as I do to everyone else who is suffering regardless of whom they are or the cause of their suffering. There are things in life us on Earth will never understand until we get to heaven and are able to ask the one in charge why? Till then we have to draw on strength to get us through whenever and wherever we can obtain in.
Someone, created the phrase: who, what, where, why & when. In almost every case or situation we are able to determine them all but one of these questions. We will know the "WHO", we can figure out the "WHAT", calculating the "WHERE" is somewhat easy, even the particular "WHEN". The one that we can never seem to get is the "WHY" Setting that up as a math formula for any situation and the algerbraic answer is always the same x+"why"="why", which means we need to solve for the unknown "X"!
I did find it ironic as I was unscrewing the broken piece of heart that remained at the crash site. The thought came to mind that there are so many broken pieces of heart left at that very site, I wished as I installed the new heart on the pole, in essence repairing the symbol and meaning of love there that I could do that for all the broken hearts of those whom Jake was loved by.
Two years might as well be two seconds on the passage of time as it reflects to those of us dealing with the "WHY" Those of us that know the "WHY", but refuse to admit it are only fooling themselves and will never rest until they accept and deal with the truth.
Another popular saying is: "Rest in Peace" knowing Jake I really don't think that applies to him.
Missing You / Auntie Blondie
Two years ago today you were taken from us and the memories of everything that happened that day are with me each and every day. I try to remember that you are in a better place but it doesn't make it any easier. You are still not here! We all miss you Jake and we always will. You are in our hearts forever. Please watch over all of us and keep us safe. Close
I awoke from a fitful sleep before dawn this morning, much the same as I did the day after you were taken from us. I walked to and fro around the house as daylight broke, much the same as then, not knowing what to do. Much has changed, yet much remains the same.
Oh, how I wish I could turn back time! If only I could have known then what I know now!
We all miss you so very much. The days without you continue to be a struggle; our feet are heavier, our heads held lower, our burdens harder to bear. The weight of our load doesn't get any lighter, we've just become more accustomed to carrying it. We talk a good game, put on a brave face and try to carry on. We struggle on for your sake, knowing you would be disappointed in us if we were to simply give up.
Please know that I tried as hard as I could to be the best I could for you. I was blind then to what I now see so clearly, to my everlasting regret.
You knew. Everyone knew except us. I wish you would have told me; I would have fixed it that very day. Did I not take care of all your concerns quickly?
We miss you more than we can convey with mere words. We wait patiently for the day when we will be reunited once again, our family whole.
Tell me, what is it like when the bottom falls out of your world? When life ceases to have any meaning and your future is no more When your heart breaks in two and there seems no reason to go on How do you find motivation for tomorrow?
Perhaps there is no answer And you ask 'Why does God permit such tragedies'? You live your life as best you can You help others along the way and yet... You are rewarded with such pain
How do you face another day when half your life is no longer here? Do you give up and walk away with happiness a distant place? Or do you leave the door of your heart ajar so that healing will enter and life reborn?
For God comes to those that weep It is He who will get you through Out of tragedy new life will come Out of darkness will come light Be brave, be strong and light the candle of tomorrow
Been missin u / DJ Kasper (cousin/friend)
Hey jake, lately i've been thinkin about you a lot and all the fun memories we had, I wish with every bone in my body that u were still here but I'm sure i'll c ya up there one day, save a spot for me would ya. Close
not one moment or memory... / Shanea Konrad (Close Friend (like a little sister) )Read >>
not one moment or memory... / Shanea Konrad (Close Friend (like a little sister) )
jake...if there isnt a memory i am not thinking of it is ...the moments we could of shared...we were really close... and nothing will ever change that...i love you with all my heart...everyone i knew that knew you, remembered you cuz u are fun and caring... i still remember the 1st time i saw u... walking into my house when i was at my neighbors and said hi with that smile u alwayz had on... i miss u terribly...it was really hard at graduation...knowing you would of walked...i cried just imagining you go across stage...i am just dropping by to tell you i love you and miss you lts....